3 Movies That Need to Stop Being Made

Sometimes producers just don't learn. No matter how hard a film flops, some idiot recreates it with a different cast and a tweaked plot. Here's my list of top 3 film ideas I never want to see again.

1. College movies:
I never understood the hype over "Old School." It squeezed a couple laughs out of me, but for the most part I was more fascinated with my popcorn than the film. None of its predecessors accomplished much more, nor did its followers. "Legally Blond," "Road Trip," "American Pie" and, worst of all, the film that made me detest Ryan Reynolds--"National Lampoon's Van Wilder."

Yesterday marked the release of 2008's updated version of "Animal House" with "College." The plot focuses on some annoyingly heartbroken teenager who is peer pressured into joining a fraternity to distract his love sickness. You can figure out the rest on your own; just watch an episode of ABC Family's "Greek." Enough already.

2. Films starring pop superstars who can't act:
They never succeed, and quite a few of them top "worst movies ever made" lists on major movie sites.

"Glitter" with Mariah Carey
"Gigli" with J-Lo
"From Justin to Kelly" with the American Idol stars Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson
"Crossroads" with the pre-breakdown Britney Spears
"Spice World" featuring British pop sensations The Spice Girls

We can also look forward to upcoming "Hannah Montana: The Movie" featuring Miley Cyrus and set for release on May 1, 2009.

These stars are made for singing, and at least a few of them do it well. Why not stick to your talents?

3. Football movies:
I realize this is hypocritical considering my constant promotion of the upcoming SU football film "The Express," but if it weren't Syracuse, I wouldn't think twice about avoiding it. They're all the same: "The Replacements," "Any Given Sunday," "Friday Night Lights," "We Are Marshall." They always focus on an underdog team that usually has to fight for civil rights while tackling players on a football field and following the guidance of a heroic, intelligent coach with a hot body and pristine virtues. I've seen enough of them to predict the plot. Why go to the theater?